It's the thought that counts, right?

The way it’s going with my “steady” posts and uploads, I’m going to lose whatever few readers I have. WHY?! I seriously feel like I have nothing interesting to share anymore. WHAT!? It’s like I blinked and BAM! it’s suddenly end of the year and “where has my life gone?” panic sets in and I’m having a quarter-life crisis (shut up, I’m still 25 only) and then I am cranky and grumpy and don’t give a crap about trying to be funny on my blog anymore. 

I realize that I haven’t done my Christmas shopping yet and the worst thing is, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO GET. I am probably the worst gifter ever because I never know what to buy. I sometimes buy stuff that I really like and then end up not giving it away because I’m greedy and want to keep it to myself. If I don’t like it, then I don’t want to buy it. If I like it, I buy it…then I want to keep it! So you see, either I get crappy gifts or I secretly keep them to myself. The other thing is I usually forget to give my gift away and it ends up sitting in the corner of my room, stashed under my bed along with my lost socks and hair ties. Or I’ll spend all the time figuring out the perfect gift and then oops, Christmas is already past and I haven’t even bought it yet. So all in all, I’m a terrible gifter. Like they all say, it’s the thought that counts, right? Well, I have all the right thoughts and intentions, just lack the action. 

Merry Christmas and I hope you receive some awesome gifts this year (unless you’re my friend. Then really, IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!)

procrastination

These past couple weeks, I’ve been faced with a bit of a personal challenge. 


Working with youth, I am often asked to help them with life skills and help them be better equipped in school life and life afterwards. One topic that I’ve given numerous workshops on is also my own biggest nemesis. And that is the topic of how to plan, how to stay organized, how to achieve your goals. 

See the problem? Even my blog posts are a form of procrastination for me. I have this huge dissertation looming over my head like a dark rain cloud and I’m too lazy to go get an umbrella even though I’m getting soaked. Yup, that’s the best analogy I have for you right now. It’s after lunch and my brain isn’t working, but you get the idea. 

Make goals, plan, stay organized. You know the drill. Easy to say but who actually does that (and no, do not tell me, I do not want to know)? But really, how am I supposed to educate these youngsters if I can’t even do them myself? S.M.A.R.T. goals, yea yea, they’re the best. Even as I animatedly talk about the importance of goal setting to eradicate procrastination and keeping motivation high, I feel a little bit like the impostor within. 

So maybe, I need to go through my own powerpoint and notes and set myself a goal. In fact, I think I just need a good kick in the ass. 

Do. Your. Friggin. Dissertation. Woman! 

Happy Birthday Nietzsche!

This morning, I opened Google and was told that today is Nietzsche’s birthday! Were he still alive, he’d be celebrating his 169th nihilism party with a cake iced with the phrase “will to power” or maybe even “God is dead”. Of course, it’ll be in German. And he probably wouldn’t have a birthday party. Because I don’t think philosophers would have parties. As I doubt philosophers had friends. 

I’ve read some of Nietzsche’s works for school and they’re interesting and all, but I’ve always had a great curiosity towards philosophers in general. Especially those that are dead. What were their lives like? Did they really sit around like the ‘thinking statue’ and just contemplate on life and its meaning, if any? How does one manage to think about so many issues and relate them to each other and ultimately, back to life and its meaning? I cannot imagine a philosopher doing mundane activities like the average ordinary person. I’ve always imagined philosophers to have intellectual-looking facial hair, and deep eyes with a faraway stare behind book-smart glasses. I’ve also imagined them to be very handsome, tall, and rather well-built even though I doubt philosophers actually worked out. In fact, Johnny Depp’s face comes up. 

And voila! This fits my description perfectly. 

Speaking of perfect, Johnny Depp is perfect. The only way I could love him more was if he were a dead philosopher. 

I like boring things and my 5 minute musing

Andy Warhol, someone whom I find absolutely fascinating, once said, “I like boring things.” I’ve been extremely intrigued by his quote. I’m not entirely sure why. It could be that I’ve had way too much coffee (but then again, if I have way too much coffee every day, doesn’t that just make it my normal intake amount? Hmm…) It could also be that I’ve got a massive exam looming over my head and my brain is scrambling for anything to distract me from actually studying. Or, and probably the most likely explanation, is that I’m just coo-cooed out and gone absolutely mental. Because really, who cares what Andy Warhol said? Aren’t there more important things for me to think about?

For example, how can someone so weird and interesting like boring things? Would that not just make said person boring? Would it not be logical to assume that only boring people liked boring things? Or would it be that if said person was interesting to start with, whatever he liked would automatically become less boring? Is this the logic of magazines and advertisements? “[Insert cool celebrity] is seen with a [insert brand] bag/shoe/baby from XX country!” I suppose because he/she is a cool celebrity, it immediately makes the above product hip and cool? And so when my random neighbour buys said product, does it makes him hip and cool too? Is there any causal relationship going on here? And why do I have so many questions? And more importantly, why am I not studying?

Don't let dreams fool you

Have you ever woken up and thought, “Hmm…was that a dream or did that really happen?” I often do. Some people dream about crazy fantasy scenarios like flying through the sky and monsters and all. I dream about random mundane activities. How boring is my brain? 

I woke up this morning feeling super hungry and thought, “Ahh… there’s orange juice and muffins in the kitchen!” And as I clambered towards my kitchen, my brain says to me, ”Wait a minute…” And that was when I realized that I never ever buy muffins nor orange juice…. As I squint my eyes in suspicion, I think hard and long about this memory and BAM! “It was a dream! Shit!” I had dreamt that I bought orange juice and muffins and then woke up thinking I actually did have muffins and juice in the kitchen. Feeling cheated, I think to myself, “Woah, this is messed up shit. It’s too early for this. I need coffee.” Yes, coffee, that sounds so much more realisitic. Coffee, I have. Juice, nu-uh. 

Re: Flying Dilemmas

The night before I got on the plane, I had written this post "Flying Dilemmas" where I talked about whether one wanted a hot guy to sit next to or an empty chair to sit next to. Well, given my luck, I sat next to a not-so-hot guy who was rather chatty. I mean, he was friendly and nice but I really just wanted to do my own thing (which includes sleeping, breathing loudly because of my chronic allergies, gasping really loudly at movies, constantly apply lip balm and moisturizer because of my dry skin, move around in my chair a lot because my legs are crampy, and basically just keeping to myself). 

As my lips are extremely dry, I kept applying my trusty Lucas’ Paw Paw Ointment balm on my lips. And this Mr. Chatty kept talking to me. He told me how his feet got bigger once he turned 40. He told me how he had 9 siblings and that he was the youngest. He told me how he’s lived in so many places that he had no idea where home is anymore. Anyways, the point is, he talked a lot and was very friendly and kind. Then I excused myself and went to the bathroom.

Lo and behold, I almost did a double take as I saw my reflection in the mirror. In my attempt to relief myself of my chapped, dry lips, I had applied way too much lip balm. And I mean, way too much. I had applied not only on my lips, but the area around my entire mouth. I looked like I had eaten a whole greasy fat pork belly with my hands tied behind my back. 

Feeling slightly embarrassed because I had been chatting away with Mr. Chatty for a good hour whilst looking like that. Sigh. Why do I always do embarrassing stuff?

And the funny thing was, we caught the same flight back as well. He recognized me and came up to say hi. Maybe he’s writing in his own blog about a Miss Greasy Lips. Haha!

A rather serious post

I recently went back to Adelaide to visit family and friends. It was relaxing, lovely, and familiar. Familiarity can be comforting, but it can also be scary. The constancy, almost as if no time had passed, was also, at the same time, scary.

Maybe it’s just me and my unwillingness to commit, but I find stability and constancy to be terrifying. Have I fallen off the bandwagon? Do I even want to be on one? I think each time I go back home, I am reminded of why I had wanted to leave in the first place.

It’s not that I don’t love the place. I do. It’s a beautiful and peaceful place. And it’s not the people either. I do love my friends back home. And it’s not the family either. I miss my family and do wish I could see them more often. But there’s just something that I cannot exactly put my finger on. Maybe it brings me back to when I was an adolescent and reminds me of my struggle to go against convention. I’m not entirely sure. Maybe it’s my fear of living a stable, conventional life - get a tertiary education, get a job (preferably government), get a house, get married, have kids and have the occasional weekend barbecue.

Or maybe it’s a deep envy of those who are living that life? Or maybe it’s a reminder of all the things I don’t have? Or things I don’t want? What is it with me and convention? It’s getting late, and I’m rambling on again.

Waiting for life to begin

Someone once told me that he’s constantly waiting for life to begin. And that he’s afraid his life will be over before it really began. What exactly was the ‘life’ he was waiting for? I’m not sure. I don’t think he knew either. And that’s something we can all probably relate to. 

We’ve all thought, maybe when I graduate and get a real job, then I’ll be able to reach my life goals. Maybe when I’m fit and strong, then I’ll be happy. Maybe when I’ve moved out, then I can really enjoy my life. Maybe when I meet someone, then I’ll be complete. Maybe when I earn enough, I can go live my dream. Maybe when my children/grandchildren are happy, then I can die peacefully. 

But what is happening whilst you’re waiting for your life to begin? Is that not life either? Is life just a relentless chase with all too many checkpoints and never a finish line? Sometimes I feel like I’m constantly running towards some sort of goal and after sweating and slaving away, I finally reach it only to feel empty and needing to fill that void once again. By chasing after the next big thing. By starting my next project. Is that the only way to avoid such existential crisis? Because really, the question we all want to ask is, what the hell are we all doing here? 

Is the point of life to be born, go through school, reach puberty, go through more school, go through a string of jobs, hopefully have some sort of career, and even more hopefully have some sort of family, age gracefully and then die? Surely that cannot be why the seven billion of us are here right now? 

So, life is now. Even though I’m not exactly sure what that even means, it’s still better than waiting for some other life to begin. Maybe life is exactly what it is. Maybe there’s nothing else. And maybe the beauty of life is that we all are given a lifetime to find out exactly what life is about.

Good luck

xx jimmy

flying dilemmas part one

I’m about to catch a plane soon and I suddenly thought, “I wonder if a cute guy is going to sit next to me.” 

But honestly, who wants to meet a romantic potential on a plane? I don’t know about you, but I’m usually bare-faced, wearing worn out leggings, my hair is all static and matted to my forehead and I’m cranky as hell because I’m cooped up in some shitty economy seat. All I want to do is pop a pill and get some shut eye and get to my destination already!! Sort of like this cranky old lady…

So, do I want to good-looking guy sit next to me or not? Well, I think I’d much rather no one sat next to me and I could score an empty chair to stretch my legs out! 

Fingers crossed! xx

I shop, therefore I am

A group of teens were asked to write down their long term goals. Majority of them wrote something along the lines of, “owning my own house and having a good job”. And that really saddened me. Is this what our youth is growing up wanting to be? Owning a house? Having a good job? Whatever happened to dreams and things bigger and better than just money?

And then the next thing was to think about their lifetime goals. The teens were asked to think about their core philosophies, what is most important to them in their life. And money came up again. “I want to be rich, so everything I do will be to earn more money”. Whatever happened to making a positive impact in the world? Giving back to society? Being kind and humble? Respecting Mother Nature? Spending time with people you love and cherish?

Someone once told me when you’re young, everything’s possible. But as I sat there looking at these expressionless teens, I did not see any excitement for the future, there were no enthusiasm about big dreams. All I saw was the burden of growing up. The dread of having to meet society’s expectations. Expressionless, lacklustre, brainwashed.

It was a sad, sad day.

Which do you live by?

"I grant myself the serenity to defy the things I cannot change,

The courage to ignore the things I can,

And the wisdom to just not give a fuck.”

This random quote off some youtuber seems to sum up exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. It’s ironic, funny, sad and blatantly moronic at the same time. Don’t they say it’s the best if you can laugh at yourself? Well, I wonder if dark humour counts.

And here’s how the original quote goes. “God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the thins I can and wisdom to know the difference.” Which one do you live by? 

It's ukulele time!

So I ultimately geeked out and bought from Groupon 6 ukulele lessons. WooT woOt! I thought, it’d be a breeze, but ahem, I was wrong. It’s actually still difficult. Or maybe I just totally suck at music and my dreams of becoming a ukulele rock star is crushed. Either way, I am having so much fun with it!

I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window...

"I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80′s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason."

musings of a tea lady

Today I bought another box of tea. Ahh… If you ever open my pantry, you’ll notice that I pretty much only own tea, coffee….and wine. No food. Well I do have some oats. And long-shelf soy milk. It’s weird because I do have lots of spices and dried herbs, but I hardly ever have real food. Why is that?

Anyways, I’ve acquired just about every type of tea there is. Darjeeling. Earl Grey. English Breakfast. Camomile. Peppermint. Lemon & Ginger. Caffeine-free sorts with fruits and all. Weird Asian tea - yea, something called Genki Tea (supposedly makes your blood flow better). Some Asian Root tea (apparently makes you pee more - don’t know why I bought that…it smelled nice. Don’t judge.) Rose tea. Asian Camomile tea (I googled it - it’s supposedly different to regular Western camomile). Asian flower diet tea my mum bought me - hm, I think that was her “subtle hint”. And the usual green tea (which I actually don’t even drink! What is it doing here?), and an assortment of Chinese tea that just somehow accumulated itself in my tea pantry.

So yea, I’m becoming one of those crazy cat ladies with commitment issues - hence, no cats, substituted with tea. Yup, the crazy tea lady!

Top 5 Real World Movies

Top 5 “Real-world” movies (actually, in no particular order). Movies that are honest and real.

1. Detachment

Amazing cinematography by director Tony Kaye. Great cast led by Adrien Brody. It’s a depressing movie, but one that reflects reality. It explores the topic of existing without a real existence. A movie that is heartbreaking, but yet, so real, so relatable.

2. A Single Man

Another beautiful movie with glorious cinematography (directed by Tom Ford). Recounts the day English professor (Colin Firth) decides to take his own life. In what seems like a normal day, there is much turmoil beneath. Explores themes of gay-love, grief and ultimately, a celebration of life.

3. Blue Valentine

An honest, unflinching portrayal of love - the life of a relationship, if you will. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams deliver with astoundingly raw emotions. Authentically tragic, with bittersweet moments intertwined within. Blue Valentine makes us all question, at which point does love disintegrate?

(Listen to “You and Me” by Penny & the Quaters; featured in Blue Valentine - ps. their whole soundtrack was amazing).

4. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

It’s the kind of movie that only gets better the more you think about it. It’s quirky, fresh, romantic, odd, heart-wrenching and imaginative all rolled into one. Is it easier to forget or fight for your heartbroken memories?

5. Mary and Marx

A claymation movie about the odd friendship between two pen-pals. It’s funny yet sad, alarming yet relatable, seemingly odd but yet so spot-on! In a childlike manner, heavy themes such as life, mental health, love, and decisions/choices are explored.


There are many more movies that I like but I’m tired, and 5 is a good number to stop. Let me know if you’ve watched any of these movies and what you thought about them!

Blue Valentine

I just watched “Blue Valentine”. It’s possibly my new favourite movie. I normally don’t have favourites because there are many good movies that are great in their own ways and genres, and it’s hard to decide.

What I love about Blue Valentine is also what I didn’t like about it - how real it is. And how depressing it also is. Relationships are wonderful, but relationships also fail. There is never a clear-cut event that explains when or how a relationship dies. You could say, right from the start, they were not meant to be. Or you could say, it was in the middle when they both wanted different things and drifted apart. Or you could say, it was right at the end when all the bottled emotions came crashing out and nothing could un-do the damage. Whichever your view, it is probably valid. All we know is, somehow, somewhere, it was gone before anyone knew.

earth hour

As some of you may know, it was Earth Hour a couple nights ago. At 8:30pm, I switched off all my lights and even unplugged electrical appliances and I had a few candles in the living area. Lo and behold what happens but the doorbell rings. Only in Hong Kong do they deliver packages in the night. I open the door and the delivery man gave me a rather weird look. I wanted to explain to him that the reason why it’s so dark in my apartment is because I’m trying to do my bit for the earth. But the guy gave me a weird look and dropped the parcel into my hands and left before I could really say anything. “Um, thanks”, I said to his disappearing back. “And I’m not weird, it’s just Earth Hour…..”

And is it just me, or is it weird to do Earth Hour alone, at home? 

Should I have gone to a park instead with a bunch of cool friends and lit candles and posted photos on instagram? I suddenly feel rather lame… 

A generic life.

Sometimes I wish that my life was one cheesy Hollywood chick flick. Then at least things would be predictable. I’d be quirky and miserably single and meet a string of horrible men, but alas, I’d live happily ever after.

But then again, life wouldn’t be fascinating if it were predictable, right? Like Robert Frost says, I’d take the road lesser travelled. If anything, at least I’d have a cool story to tell. Because no story ever started with being plain and boring.

Okay, maybe I don’t want a movie life. But could I still want to have a soundtrack to my life?

My all-time nemesis

Many of you who know me would know that I am secretly a very unorganized and messy person. I may look very neat, but seriously, you are too gullible if you didn’t know that looks are deceiving.

One of my greatest nemesis is moving houses. Yet for some reason, I am forced to move houses time after time again. Since I was a kid, my family and I have moved and lived in more houses that I can count. I’ve never ever been able to wrap my head around “Oh, I’ve lived here all my life”. What? What does that even mean? Not just moving across the street, but I’ve moved across oceans. I’ve pretty much lost everything from my childhood, heck, nothing I have dates back further than 3 years I reckon. Maybe except my passport and ID….

Just the thought of moving houses automatically results in a frown and a headache on my part. Now recently, R decided to move apartments. And he asked me to help. “Sure!” was my answer but deep down, I knew I had to run. But eventually, all excuses ran dry and I ended up standing in the midst of carton boxes and shit. A shit load of shit. And I think I shat my pants a little too. I’m not too sure, my memory seems fuzzy. Like after you’ve encountered a traumatic experience, your mind helps you recover by simply forgetting it.

I think I put about 3 items into a box. And I probably stood there pretending to be useful. But alas, my efforts were uncovered and R sympathetically asked me to simply throw out the rubbish. Oh yea, that’s much more familiar territory. I can throw things away. Hey! Let’s just throw EVERYTHING away so we don’t have to pack. Or unpack. Let’s just buy new crap again! What a wonderful plan. I am amazing.

"Ok. You should just sit here and watch TV."

"Oh…. Sorry I’m not much help." *But secretly, YESSSS!!! mission accomplished! Pat on the back*


Okay, I hope you’re not reading this post. If you are, I mean, I REALLY WANTED TO HELP AND I DID TECHNICALLY PUT SOME THINGS INTO SOME BOXES………… *insert cheesy grin*

But I just love Me so much...

It seems like every post of mine starts with, “Sorry I haven’t been blogging for a while…”. But yea, sorry I haven’t been blogging for a while.

Today, I think I met the most self-absorbed person ever. It’s interesting, really, because this person was talking and I’m just listening (or not) and that person is probably thinking, “That’s right! Be impressed!” All the while I’m thinking in my own head, “Dayum, how does one become so incredibly unlikeable?”

So that got me thinking about all the wonderful fine lines that exist in life. There’s confidence, and then there’s arrogance. You can be highly educated and charismatic, or you can be highly educated and snobby. “Please call me DR. so - and - so”. WOW. Didn’t think I would have the pleasure of meeting one of those!

That incredibly unlikeable, self-absorbed person continued babbling about his achievements and struggles and how he overcame everything to become the success that he is now. And I’m just wondering, how does one live in such a bubble?

And then I thought, to burst one’s bubble - is that rude? Or is it doing you a favour, so to speak? Hm..

Well, given the situation, I really was not in the position to offend said person. So I just quietly chuckled in my head as I pretended to look impressed.

The most fascinating aspect of life is the irony of it all. Don’t you agree? And here’s a little humorous comic for y’all…

Have a good night or morning, or whatever it is that you’re having.

it's a 40 second mini dance party

Have you ever been so busy and rushed and hectic that once all is over, you have time, you aren’t busy and … you feel this wash of emptiness ? 

With a drink next to me and a new episode of Grey’s Anatomy streaming, guess I’ll just enjoy myself. 

Let’s have a 40 second mini dance party …