What is this feeling that I have?

I’m torn in two by this time of the year. Yes, New Year’s Eve. Something that I look forward to but also dread at the same time.

On one hand

• a new year, a new start, new things to look forward to, new things to embrace
• a time for partying like there’s no tomorrow
• I can wear extremely sparkly and sequinned dresses that I would otherwise have no chances to
• I can be drink all the champagne in the world

On the other hand

• A year has already gone by?! What the hell have I done with my life the past year? A time for sad sad reflections and feeling like I’ve accomplished nothing 
• it’s a terrible time to go anywhere since there will be truckloads of people EVERYWHERE. I do not want to party. I do not even want to step outside the safety zone of my apartment door.
• I do not have any over-the-top sequinned and sparkly dresses. *I have nothing to wear for NYE* cue panic attack
• I will be really drunk and wake up terrible the next day.

So….do you all feel the dilemma that I feel? What is this feeling of dread that I have sitting in the pit of my stomach? Is it…*gasp*…AGE?? Am I too old for crowds, party and … too many young people? Oh My Goodness….what is going on?

So am I the only one or do you all feel this two-sided battle going on as well? I always love a good gathering with friends, but crowds and hangovers do scare me now….

And I DO NOT HAVE A SPARKLY DRESS TO WEAR~~~ OH NOOO!!! 

PS. looking through magazines for “New Year’s Eve Party Dresses”, most have forgotten that it is very cold here during countdown season. Will the dress have the same effect when I have a coat, scarf, and tights? 

PPS. Winter is a time for me whinge….

Tourists in Phuket

The past week has been rather surreal - comprised of crystal clear sea water, amazing views, crazy spastic little fishes, corals, caves, adventure, sun, pineapple, all sorts of unthinkable smoothies, buckets of alcohol, ladyboys, extremely hot and sexy but slightly disturbing transexuals doing all sorts of unspeakable things, and not to forget lots of shopping. Ahh shopping. A holiday is never complete without some shopping.

Now, I really want to just shove all 1000-something photos up in your face and point at each one and tell you a story or just scream “LOOK! LOOK! Isn’t it beautiful?” Well, the problem is that I kinda did that and the people whom I did that to weren’t exactly too impressed. People are usually less enthusiastic about things they didn’t experience themselves.

Now you all know that I love taking sneaky photos (or not so sneaky photos) of people I notice. Usually they’re a bit funny. I hope you see the lighter side of things and enjoy them. Maybe even laugh a little.

[ now as a professional who deals with strict confidentiality issues all day long, please do bear with me and let me have my fun…it is my blog afterall. And if you do know any of the people in the following photos, please please please do not identify them. And hopefully do not show them this blog. And if you are in the photo and you are reading this, I am by no means making fun of you. You are an awesome individual and thank you for stopping upon my blog. Hehe..]

There’s always a thing or two about flowers by the beach.

And once again you have it. Flowers.

So far they’ve all be asian ladies. You Asian Mamas sure know a thing or two about poses.

And….action!

Gotta have the perfect shot. Bring on the props.

Oh and this was the captain of our speedboat. Jennifer….the man?

Trust the Koreans to wear matching holiday apparel. Even when not on holiday!

I asked them Korean boys, “Can I see your photo?” And it was of the yellow top guy eating the rocky island. Interesting concept.

Pretty Korean girl yells, help help, whilst her friends just watch. Well,  I watched too. Secretly thought, “Served you right for being so pretty.” No, I didn’t really.

Did somebody say Russian?

Russian men seem to love their speedos. Like Asian mamas like their scarves.

is perfectionism good or bad?

Perfectionism has often received bad attention. Many describe perfectionism as negative, and potentially harmful. Perfectionism has been associated with numerous psychological problems, including depression, eating disorders, low self-esteem, obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety. 

However, it seems that lately researchers have discovered a second dimension to perfectionism, which was labeled normal perfectionism. So what does this all mean? 

The problematic side of perfectionism, known as maladaptive evaluation concerns, is due to excessive concerns about making mistakes, doubts about one’s behaviour, and excessively critical relationships with parents. Such neurotic perfectionists inevitably have low self-esteem because even the slightest negative feedback will be seen as evidence of the gap between the real self and the idealized perfect self. 

The newfound positive end of perfectionism, known as positive striving, refer to high personal standards and organization. Research showed that positive striving actually made people feel more energetic, enthusiastic, and active. Normal perfectionists are better able to establish performance boundaries that take into account both their limitations and strengths. In this way, success is more possible because self-expectations are both more reasonable and realistic. 

So which type of perfectionist are you?

Or are you far away from a perfectionist, and more of a….regular person?

Piece of advice from me: 
If you find yourself fitting the description of a neurotic perfectionist, please know that the things that must be perfect and mean the whole world to you…probably don’t mean shit to anyone else. So take a breath, and see the lighter side of the world. Laugh a little. Mess up a bit. It’s alright. Enjoy your life….

wonderful inventions that I still don't quite get...

Hello! Here’s some amazingly wicked inspiration for a mid-week pick-me-up. Screw coffee (no, I didn’t really mean that) and know that the world is limitless.

[Li-Fi]
It’s the better version of wi-fi. How does it work? You seriously expect me to explain it you? If I knew….I’d probably be a wicked scientist hacking away at something in my underground garage, and not writing a silly blog whilst watching How I Met Your Mother….Well, here’s what I know. Some dude managed to transmit data via lightbulbs and apparently it’s secure because light doesn’t go through walls. So it’s safer than current wi-fi and it’s more abundant (because we’re running out of radio frequencies used for wi-fi? I just read that sentence somewhere).

[Virtual textures]
WOW like WTF? Trust those crazy Finnish dudes to invent something like this. So apparently, using electrical fields and vibrations, we can feel textures on a touchscreen!! Gone are the baby books with cotton, wool and velvet stuck on the pages. Hello? You can actually feel wetness, roughness and a whole range of textures on your phones soon!! That’s absolutely mind-blowing.

[The Light Field Camera]
This crazy little camera is able to capture the entire light field. That is, each ray of light is captured. So nothing is ever out of focus. It’s even crazier because there’s no shutter delay. AND, as if that weren’t enough, no, those crazy guys behind this little gadget has done some magic that allows re-focus after the picture is taken. So you can bring whatever object you wish into and out of focus, however you wish. Are you as excited as I am?

[The Next-Gen Pen]
Now this is a cool name already. Anything labeled next gen is, obviously new, right? Well this is a pen, but ordinary it is not. There’s a little sensor that you can clip onto a piece of paper or sketchbook. What it does is that it remembers your drawings line by line and when you connect it to the usb, it is transmitted into a digital file. The great thing is that it actually retains the classic pen-to-paper quality that sometimes is lost in computer generated images. Hooray for the comeback of original Disney cartoons! Pen and paper lives on!!

[One more just for fun]
Japan has managed to create artificial meat made from processed sewage. Yay for vegetarians, another source of protein for you guys, suckers. Joking aside, it’s fascinating as to how waste can be used to provide nutrition. Trust Japan on that!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/HDvSPQ7megQ]

Twilight Breaking Dawn

RANT. 

Beware twilight fans…close this page and don’t read anymore. Go on at your own risk.

Bella: OH, who should I choose? Beastilia or necrophilia? An underaged grisly bear or a friggin’ aged corpse? 

Edward: is ugly. For being more than a hundred years old, knows shit about safe sex. And why would a corpse have sperms anyway?

Jacob: probably won’t be recognizable if he were fully dressed. He’s the closest thing to acting, even if it only involves snarling and making snide comments like, I’m hotter than you. (get it? Edward is cold…and not as cute). *cue vomit*

Thank you all for listening to my rant. I have been ranting about Twilight ever since I read that book. May I add that the book is probably worse than the movie? Apart from the highly uninteresting plot, the language is particularly dull. Every sentence is she “said” this, “and then” he “said” that. “And then” that was the end of the book. 

k. bye. hope you had a better weekend than me. Anyone care to tell me when this “phenomenon that’s taken the world over by a storm” ends?

" life swings like a pendulum backward and forward between pain and boredom "

I once read something by a philosopher who said that life is just time spent going back and forth between pain and boredom. His rationale was that we are all striving for something, working hard for that something — and that’s our pain. And when we reach our goal, we find what we want, we are only satisfied momentarily — and then we feel boredom setting in. And so we make another goal, we strive for more — and we revert to pain once again. 

And this goes back and forth until we die. 

He goes on to say we all really fear the thing we want most — freedom. Why? Because when we finally understand what freedom is about, we will realize that our world is constructed by ourselves and we bear full responsibility for whatever happens to us. And that our lives, our ground, our reality is based upon nothingness. Yes, there is nothing we can fall back on, nothing we can depend on, nothing we can blame,  nothing we can hold as a norm if we were to really have freedom. 

Anyways, this man seemed quite depressing to me. 

I’m not sure why I read his stuff but I just like to read anyway. 

So do you agree with him? 

In a way, I feel that his description of men going back and forth between pain and boredom has become especially illustrated in our modern society. However, I think that is only true for those who haven’t yet decided on their meaning in life — which, I might add, is probably the majority of us (I said decided on, rather than found their meaning in life because I think that if we looked inside of us, we will find it, as opposed to it being on the outside, waiting for us somewhere).

As with the freedom stuff, I suppose it is true. Everything has two sides, and with freedom comes also the darker side. If we are liberated, we are let go, free to do anything we want, with only ourselves to hold accountable. And I guess that’s why it’s also fearsome. But most things in life are like that. We want it, but we also fear it. We want love, but we fear abandonment, rejection. We want success, but we fear failure. And the list goes on…

Schopenhauer! Ah….that’s the philosopher’s name. I just remembered :)

repeat after me: i am very excited today

REPEAT : I AM VERY EXCITED TODAY

Yes. You can thank me for that when you’re still alive 5 years from now. Apparently, people who would say they are excited about their day are less likely to die within 5 years, compared to those who would say they are anxious or worried.

So tell yourself you’re excited until you believe yourself.

Well, for the sake of the blog title, I am actually very excited today. For the past year and more in Hong Kong, I’ve been scouting all over the place for some good quality coffee. It seems like all that’s around is Starbucks or Pacific Coffee, which sucks. I still drink it, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. Even McCafe seems to do a better job. As for good beans….everything seems to taste like instant coffee. Or cost am arm. Which is ridiculous.

BUT…….

*please imagine some grand exciting music in the background as you read the rest of the sentence*

I FINALLY FOUND THIS AWESOME WEBSITE THAT HAS A MILLION VARIETIES OF COFFEE BEANS

….AND

*don’t stop the music, I’m not done yet*

THEY DO DELIVERY!!

AND…

*yes, there’s more! You think I’d get excited just over that? Of course there’s more*

I CAN MIX AND MAKE MY VERY OWN BLEND…OR CHOOSE THEIR READY-MADE ONES (which might be better than what I’d come up with).

Right now, there’s a bimbo in my brain going “Like….seriously! Shut up! Are you for real?” haha sorry, I had met this California girl and she always said “Shut up!” when somebody said something exciting. For a long time, I thought she was really rude and didn’t like me because she kept telling me to shut up. But she’d go, REALLY? NO WAY! TELL ME MORE. SHUT UP! SERIOUSLY? What a contradictory bitch, I had thought. Until I realized the weird ways of Americans.

So, are you excited today??

I did just drink coffee at midnight..

Yes, I did just drink coffee at midnight. WHY? Now I cannot sleep and it is 2:39AM. I am wide-eyed, jittery and excited. Well, more than usual.

Anyways, lets see what I can blog about.

1) I read my friend’s blog (the girl from the Ping Pong Show story, click here if you don’t know!) and she posted about these great sermons. I’ve been listening to a few on my way to work/school/wherever and check them out here. I listened to “I just want to be happy” and the awesome thing I learnt is that we all disguise discontent with excuses like I’m just ambitious. But rather, its a sense of entitlement. We think we deserve more. Great point.

2) I was bit by a mosquito in my apartment. I live on the 32nd floor. Now, I wondered, if I had shooed that mosquito out the window, would it just free fall down to the ground and smash whatever brains it had? I mean, can a mosquito actually fly from that much of a height? Or would it be blown away by the wind….? You can probably tell I have an assignment due sometime soon.

Taken from Harrybliss.com

3) I totally forgot I had washed a load of laundry. I left it in the machine for one whole day. And it stunk like a pair of socks who belonged to someone with athlete’s feet and got caught in the rain and had stinky tofu shoved into it. And so I washed it again. I was taking it out of the machine when I realized I had accidentally thrown in a green t-shirt. Now all my socks and panties are also green.

4) If possible, avoid drinking coffee at midnight. Unless you’re an avid blogger and would sacrifice your beauty sleep just so you could entertain some sad sad internet roamers…. No, no! Please come back. I meant to say that you’re awesome people who read my sad sad blog.

GOOD NIGHT.

Or…GOOD MORNING.

Ugh. Whatever.

a day with nature

Location: Tin Shui Wai Wetland Parks

i stare at a balding man 4 hours a day

I’m watching this man with fascination. Not because he’s a great teacher. No. More because his peculiar mannerisms fascinate me. I’m wondering, how can this awkward, stuttering, skinny little man without a sliver of charm be a family therapist? We often watch videos of masters do their work with a world of charm and elegance shining on them. Look back at this elf-like person? I’m not sure how he does it. I would like to sit in on one of his sessions though…..

However, if there’s one thing this balding, nose scrunching, head scratching man who comes to class in ill-fitting short-sleeved shirts and running shoes, talking about how he bought fake jade for his girlfriend whilst he eats roast duck with rice awkwardly picked up with chopsticks shaking to the point of uselessness; if there’s one thing he taught me, it’s that family is important.

In that they can screw you up.

Big time.

might as well say nothing instead

Plus-sized models are called “fiercely real” on America’s Next Top Model. So the regular skinny models aren’t “real”? And plus-sized models aren’t even that plus-sized anyway! They seem perfectly curvy and sexy to me. And why are fat women labeled “curvy”? Why has everything become politically incorrect? There used to be terms which were neutral in meaning, but then people use them negatively and now these words are associated with negative labelling! “Fat” used to be a legitimate medical word. So was the word “moron”. Maybe if we started insulting people with “You osteoporotic person!”, osteoporosis might need a new term…..I guess the best way is to never describe anyone.

Don’t describe.

Just be as vague as possible.

"Oh, so you met Jane? What’s she like?"

"Well…Jane’s a woman." — probably will get some sort of a protest from crazy feminists for stereotyping women.

Revised answer:

"Oh yes, I met Jane." — yeah, better stop right there.

So yea, times have changed. People aren’t blind anymore. They’re visually challenged.  We stopped having diseases, but conditions. And remember, please don’t wish anyone a Merry Christmas, but say Happy Holidays instead! In a country where freedom of speech is strongly advocated, political correctness seems to be the new curtailment in town. 

Here’s a funny one I found:

I’m not Lazy. I’m just energetically declined.  HAHA.

HAHA… I guess making fun of Bush isn’t so politically incorrect?

Couch potato = furniture-based leisure prioritizers. LOL

Cheers. 

Have a good day, y’all!

just think about it...it's a freaking miracle!

I’ve been plagued with the worst curse of all times — Canker sores. Those tiny CSI-crime-scene-looking white round spots. Who would know that such tiny things can cause so much havoc. I have three super tiny looking ones right on the middle of the inside of my upper lip (phrase probably contained all the descriptives for locations). They’re grouped together and when I close my lips together, they knock on my front teeth and hurt like hell. So I have to constantly keep my lips slightly parted — so please forgive me if I look like a bad appointment with the Botox doc.

by dave from http://www.stupidpictures.net/2005/11/

Anyways, these white spots from hell have made me marvel at the miracle that our body is. I have discovered, that with my trying to keep my upper lip not touching anything….it’s almost impossible to drink water. I dare you to try it…other than pouring it into your mouth, there really isn’t any other way to drink water from a cup than to press your upper lip down.

I always thought lips were just for kissing and looking kissable. Who knew we wouldn’t be able to drink water without them?

What a miracle our body is! But what a horrible way to be reminded so….

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/VAJ6k8TmFKw]

forget it all, just shove all the poor in there, the hungry men swallowed all we fit in there, so why would we try, if we can wait, just have ourselves a time…

reminiscing the good ol' days...

[那些年，我們一起追的女孩]

[You are the apple of my eye]

This is a Taiwanese movie that’s currently showing in the cinemas here in Hong Kong. I just watched it today. It’s about a bunch of boys who all chase after this one girl (one of the boys just decided to chase her because all his friends did, and he didn’t want to be left behind). It’s funny, heart-warming and cute all in one. I’m usually not a fan of romantic comedy, but this movie was quite spectacular.

It left a warm fuzzy feeling deep inside of me. The movie really hit home. The movie begins in 1994, a time before cell phones were popular, before internet was a part of our daily lives, and before kids were rude and antisocial (just my speculation). This reminded me of school days, where we would pull pranks on each other, play basketball, run after each other, and learn silly magic tricks. Times are different now and when we’re bored, we just whip out our phones and play the latest games. Or we entertain ourselves with watching YouTube. We no longer have to think of things to play or do because we just log onto Facebook.

The characters, the scenes, they all reminded me of someone, something that had happened. I laughed so much. Cried with them. Thought of all the earth-shattering events that happened but weren’t really that big of a deal now that I think of it. I thought of all the boys I had a crush on. All the boys who confessed their love for me. The love letters. Folding stars with straws. Making paper cranes. Writing silly notes. Everything came flooding back.

What were your high school days like? I hope they were as wonderful as mine. :)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/-WD4wsqfvDE]

i drive a really sexy car...

Urban myth has it that men measure their confidence based upon wealth and possessions. Has this been tested? I’m not too sure, but I do know that most people will agree with it. Cars seem to be exclusively tied to this whole notion of status. Men who are rich and want people to know will drive nice cars. And probably have a little model sitting in the passenger. Just as a prop.

I had an interesting experience that I would like to share and it’s related to cars and money and my personal protest against the rich-poor gap. 

I was in a bar with a couple of friends when this tall, dark man approaches us and offers to buy us all drinks. How nice. He was dressed really nicely and seemed like a fine gentleman. Then what he proceeded to do kind of shocked me a little. And even seemed offensive on retrospect. 

He walked over and slipped a car key into my hands and whispered in my ears,

 ”I have a really sexy car just outside. I can take you for a spin.” 

My first reaction was to say no thanks. (Maybe not so smart? It could’ve been a Lamborghini…) Anyways, we had a few more polite words and parted.

So what does this all mean? Why am I so bothered by this? First, I would like to say that I’m secretly a bit happy that I got picked up by a good looking rich guy. BUT. More importantly, I can’t help but think that this is the strategy that men thinks works. Just let the girl know just how damn rich you are. Is this what our society has come to? That these men think women are all money loving gold diggers? And the fact that I’m a bit happy about it is testimony that IT WORKS. DAMMIT!!!

Don’t get me wrong because it’s not that I dislike people who are rich. I just do not agree with some people who manipulate money to get rich. I understand that money is extremely important, but I also believe that money can lead to great evil too. I also feel deeply about social inequality and the ever increasing gap between the rich and the poor….

So I really wanted to go back to that guy and slam a banner with the slogan “I AM THE 99%” in his face! (The quote came from Occupy Wall Street)

So yea, driving sexy cars aren’t sexy. I’d rather you told me you were just planting trees earlier and marched on Wall Street……

Defending humanity?

I have an assignment for Social Psychology where I need to find newspaper/media reports of events that can be explained by social psych theories. One such was the news on Oct 17th 2011. A two-year old Chinese girl gets run over by a van and is caught on CCTV. People walk past this bleeding toddler and no-one offered help. All 18 of them. Another car drives by and runs over her legs. It wasn’t until the 19th person that stopped and dragged her body to the side and called for help.

What is this? A reflection of the moral (or dare I say, lack of) standards of the Chinese? As some You-Tubers have commented, does this show that the Chinese really have no souls? Some even go so far to say that this event illustrates the degradation of humanity.

Before you go about posting You-Tube videos on Facebook or adding comments that insult China, Chinese or the lack of morals in humans, I hope you read this.

This shocking incident is a perfect example of what is known as the Bystander Effect. People often think there is safety in numbers. However, past events have told otherwise. The probability of help is inversely related to the number of people present, or expected to be present. That is, if person A sees someone in need of help, the probability of A helping is greater if A thinks nobody else is present. However, if A was in a group, or on a busy street, or thinks that others are present, A is less likely to help because A will think someone else will help. A might also think, if no one has offered help, maybe this isn’t that big of a problem. A might think, if I made a move whilst no one did, I might look stupid. I might be making a big deal out of nothing.

If you still think this is more related to the degradation of humanity and morals, well, the Bystander Effect was first demonstrated in 1968, following the notorious murder of Kitty Genovese. Maybe you’ve heard of this case, maybe not, but either way, Kitty was murdered in front of her neighbours and no one had called for help. She ran around screaming, with a man chasing her, repeatedly stabbing at her. This lasted for 30 minutes and still, not one person tried to stop the murder or call the police.

Anyways, I am not defending China. Rather, I would like to point out that, although shocking and heartbreaking, this is not something new. This is not a reflection of the Chinese’ lack of heart and soul. This is us. This is human. Maybe if you or I were in that situation, we might also not do anything to help…..

how to fail at photography

How to Fail at Photography:

step 1. Want a camera real badly. Whinge about it all the time. Ask everyone with a camera for opinions.

step 2. Try to find a legit reason so that someone else may buy it for you.

step 3. Own that camera.

step 4. Realize that DSLRs are so frigging heavy, huge, and they need a bag all to themselves. That selfish bitch!

step 5. You have successfully failed at photography.


Ok, so that’s me. I whinged, I cried, I begged, I conned….I got a camera. Every night, I look at it because it’s so pretty. The body is metallic red. But I haven’t used it. I’ve have gone through all 5 steps of failing…..

BUT….I promise you that I shall deliver some great* photos.

*DISCLAIMER: Please note that the author uses the word “great” in a very subjective manner.

i was born 25 years ago...

Dear Facebook,

Thank you for reminding me it was my own birthday. 

Love Jimmy.

Yep, I almost forgot my birthday because I had celebrated it a couple days earlier and so when it was my actual birthday, I forgot. Oops. I’ve never really been a fan of birthdays. I always felt that it’s such a self-absorbed event. The whole “It’s all about me!” “I love ME” “Me me me”….

One good thing about not remembering your own birthday:

When you fill in VIP or membership forms, you may get a little surprise “Birthday” gift when it isn’t really your birthday. How? My birthday is October 8th. But for some odd reason, I have a tendency to say my birthday is on August 10th. Now, when you go shopping, they often ask you to fill in some details and apply for VIP/membership. Well, a few times, I wrote down August 10th and voila!! come August 10th, I get a little “Just For You - It’s Your Birthday!” gift. Who-hoo! 

Apollo 18

Last night I watched Apollo 18.

I want to make up some excuses as to why I watched it, such as the following:

- someone said it was good

- I hadn’t seen the trailer and had no idea what the movie was about

- I thought it would be good. Nah that’s not a good excuse. I was curious. Yea, that’s better.

Those of you who have seen the movie, or the trailer, would know what I am mean. It is probably one of the dumbest movies I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen my fair share of dumb movies.

Why is it dumb? Let’s make a list. I am trying to be more organized, and making lists seem to make things look organized, so here goes:

(in no particular order)

[SPACE CRABS] It may sound like some crazy sex disease, but no, that’s what the movie is about. Extraterrestrial life turns out to be a bunch of space crabs disguised as rocks most of the time. They feed on astronauts, so you can assume that they’re pretty hungry. There seems to be no other signs of life, so that’s one screwed up food chain if you ask me.

[ZOMBIE ASTRONAUTS] So these space crabs attacked the astronauts and they get infected. It was almost a flashback to 28 Days Later, where the zombie slowly takes over. There’s the black veins, constant bleeding, paranoia and weird behaviour (there was one extremely freaky scene where the infected astronaut filmed the other one sleeping…..awkward. Kind of like when Edward the vampire stared at Bella sleeping from Twilight…also awkward and freaky.) 

[PURE DUMBNESS] As if those two points weren’t dumb enough, the rest of the movie isn’t any better. Apparently infected astronauts like to hammer and hack away at space stations. Because that’s what the abandoned Soviet spacecrafts also looked like. And then they found their body. Speaking of, why don’t astronauts have normal flashlights? Apparently, NASA thinks film effects are better when astronauts use strobe lights. This movie actually stole a lot of ideas from other movies. If you’ve seen Shutter, where the photographer can only capture the ghost using his flash…. so strobing seems to make things seem scarier. And then there’s also silly things like running astronauts. I’m no scientist, but I do think that when there’s not much gravity, you can’t run too fast. Shouldn’t they bounce? Oh, and apparently Soviet spacecrafts are “not that much different to ours” [our’s referring to American]. Ha. Didn’t think Russians used English? Think again. Their buttons and signs seem to be the same.

There’s a lot more dumb stuff about this movie…..but maybe you should watch it to find out? hehe…

I plan to do a little re-enactment of this movie at the beach. When there’s hermit crabs or any sorts of crabs around, I’m going to scream “Do you hear them? They’re everywhere!! They want me….You save yourself! Go save yourself…..they just want me….ARGHHHH~~~~” Oh, and of course, wave a hammer around. (I wonder why astronauts have hammers??)

Ok, have a great week everybody!

what a day of rest is like

I’ve come to the point where I am constantly doing something that if I sit down for 2 minutes, I am asleep. Yes. I do my readings in between tutoring kids. I used to always laugh at the people who would actually run towards subway stations because I thought the train comes every 2 minutes. But now 2 minutes is a lot. I am one of those who power walk everywhere. And frown at the people who mill about and stand in my way. My supervisor at my practicum site likes to send me pdf files of 15 page articles 3 hours before our meetings and then give me a pop quiz on the content. I check my email like a madman. I am lucky I have an ipad and can at least download stuff to read. When I am teaching kids vocabulary, a part of my brain is reciting the etiology of schizophrenia. Then I think, I am going through almost all the environmental stressors that trigger mental illness.

So yesterday, I had nothing to do. Yes. I was so shocked that I checked my schedule, diary, phone and email 5 times. My wonderful boyfriend decided to give me a “fun day”. So he picked me up early morning, we had pizza, went to the beach, walked in a flea market, went for happy hour with a bunch of friends and then watched a movie at home.

In my brain, it was an absolutely fantastic day. However, in reality, I constantly had this weird nagging feeling of guilt. Yes, guilt. Because I kept thinking, I should be studying, I should be preparing, I should be planning lessons, I should be reviewing my clients’ cases. By lunch time, I was exhausted. Just laying on the beach doing nothing exhausted me.

But nonetheless, I am glad I took a break. Even if forced. I had a day where I did nothing, shopped, laughed and had fun. (Although it tired me terribly!!)

THANK YOU!!

I did enjoy myself and engaged in my hobby of taking photos of other people whilst posing :)

i did a lot of stuff today

Today I found a place to rent. Paid the deposit. Went to work. Taught a bunch of kids the wrong meaning of “haphazard”. Well…I misread because there was a glare on the screen. I thought the word was “hazard”. But I eventually realized I made a mistake because the sentence sounded extremely odd….Then I had a doctor’s appointment. Doctors are always so cold and unfriendly. Oh and I applied for a HK passport. Because I went to apply for a 10 year visa to China and they won’t let me because I couldn’t prove I was Chinese. How about Take-a-look-at-my-Asian-face? Went home. Copied some homework. I mean, did some homework. And then I paced around my tiny living room. Not sure why I did that…probably because I hadn’t finished my term paper and didn’t really know what else I could do. Well I then eventually finished it. And now it’s 3am. Dang. I’m wide awake with all that adrenaline in me. Crack open a can of coke and I shall sit and relax with a new book I’m reading. It’s called  ’One Hundred Years of Solitude’ by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. It’s a really weird book that’s oddly captivating. I can’t even explain what it’s about…a magical made-up town where people don’t really die, I don’t know what time era it is, but there’s gypsies and time machines. The characters seem ancient, yet they reflect our modern society. Like I said, really weird but oddly captivating. Read it if you have time. Well, I won’t say I have time, but I’m reading it anyway. I guess what I meant to say was put something important aside so you can read this really weird book. Sigh…I think I really need to work on time management? But then how can life be fun if everything is organized and punctual? But I would say that I accomplished quite a lot today. Maybe I’ll rest tomorrow. It is afterall, Friday. What? Don’t you rest on Fridays?

i love old men in a totally non-creepy way

I was on the subway going home. Two old men sat across me, dressed to the nines in pinstriped pants and dress shoes. The one on the left was carrying a “don’t use plastic” reusable bag which made him totally cool. Oh and he was wearing a baker boy cap.

A bunch of hardcore bicycle dudes came into the compartment with their bikes taken apart (I guess it’s a law that vehicles cannot be taken on the subway so they take it apart?) Anyways, here’s roughly the conversation between the two old men. Let’s call them Peter and John.

Peter: Oh look at those guys with their bicycles. They look so fancy.

John: Oh HAHA Peter, they’re not bicycles! Look….there’s only ONE WHEEL…

Peter: Oh my Yes you are right! What is it then? They are wearing a uniform and helmets! Back in our days, we didn’t even know what a helmet was. Only for soldiers!

John: Yea, we just rode our bicycles to go to school and go home. Nothing fancy like them. Don’t even know what that is…Oh WAIT! It IS a bicycle….they just took the wheel apart. HAHAHA

Peter: HAHAHA….when our bicycles wheels came off, that’s the end of it! You had to walk! Haha…I don’t understand these young men…carrying a bicycle onto the train…*sigh*….when they should be riding it!

John: HAHA…now people catch subways! Don’t ride bikes…it’s only for fun. That’s why they got all their fancy things like helmet and uniforms…. us old hags used to ride bikes for transport! It wasn’t for fun!

Peter: Oh no, it wasn’t for fun. Times were hard…..*sigh*….this is our stop. Let’s go. Such fancy young people these days…..*SIGH*

At this point I really wanted to ask them if I could be their friends. They were utterly awesome.

Yet we go about chasing our so-called dreams...

An old lady in a wheelchair held up a can for a donation for some organization. I pretended to look away, tried to avoid eye contact. I quickly darted my way across the road, walked hurriedly because of what, I didn’t know. I was in a hurry. I was in a hurry, so I looked the other way. I was in a hurry, so I couldn’t even spare some change.

When was the last time we cared about something other than our own comfort? We go about hurriedly in life, chasing after our so-called dreams of money, cars, hot girls, good skin, Chanel bags, alcohol and parties. When was the last time we did something that was not for ourselves? When was the last time we looked a homeless person in the eyes and told them the truth that we do not have money in our pockets but that we have a party to go to, a new phone to buy, a new handbag on hold and because of that we can’t give them anything?

Yet we go on about our lives, looking at what people we barely even know will put up as a status on Facebook. And watch religiously every night to find out what scandal the rich and famous have gotten into.

Yet we go about everyday chasing our so-called dreams.

Sad thing is, you and I, and pretty much everyone else will most likely forget about this.

"The thing about the rat race is, even if you win, you’re still a rat."

Beijing Club -- the secret gay club for men who don't even know they're gay

Yes, that’s the club I went to on Friday night. I always want to go clubbing but each time I go, I’m reminded that I actually hate clubbing. Beijing club is probably the worst club I’ve been to. Don’t believe me? Here….let me paint you a picture.

I walk in the club, I mean I CAN’T walk past the door because there is already a sea of men. Yes, just MEN. I’m standing there trying to make my way through and already there’s a dude who whispers in my ear, “I have a table over there, come and drink with me.” Eww…maybe a better line first? All I could see were men, men and more men. Every guy was stuck onto another guy. With no space to breathe, let alone dance, all the guys just look like one big swaying mass. I wonder what the guys feel like. Having another man right up your butt, your chest, your arms are touching, your legs are touching. You might as well be in a gay porn production.

With no women in sight, and an entry fee of 300 HKD for men … I wondered why so many guys flock here every night, every week. There aren’t any girls!

So I concluded that Beijing club is actually a gay bar for men who don’t know they’re gay (yet) but love dancing 0.5 mm away from 20 other men. Yay for them.

I’m going home.

i love eavesdropping!!

Yes you read it right. I love to eavesdrop. As socially unacceptable and immoral it is, sometimes I just cannot help but listen to other people’s private (well, semi-private) conversations. The thing is, sometimes, I’m FORCED to hear these stranger’s talking. Take dinner time. In Hong Kong, the tables in restaurants are so packed that I can hardly squeeze my ass through the gap. Now how is it possible NOT to hear what the next table is talking about??

I’d like you to meet my friend, Mike. Well, he isn’t really my friend because technically we never met officially. But I do know a great deal about him because I heard pretty much his whole life story in the frame of 2 hours. Yep. You guessed right, he sat at the table next to mine.

** To my friends whom I have dinner with : it’s not that what you say isn’t interesting. I still love you guys.

Okay, back to Mike. So Mike is 30. He’s a banker. (Didn’t make a great first impression on me! HAHA Those who know me will know how I dislike people who love money and work solely for money. I’m sure there are a few bankers who love the environment and poor people, but for now, I dislike bankers. lol.) Anyways, he’s going through a divorce right now and his wife wants to take his apartment and the dog. Oh the dog!! He misses the dog dearly but is too scared of his ex-wife to go visit his dog. And now he’s dating a girl who is a friend of his ex-wife. WTF?! Stop right there. I wanted to slam my drink down on the table and yell at him, “DUDE! You NEVER go for the ex-wife’s friends!” I thought it was a rule carved into stone, no? Anyways, he’s going through what he described as depression. Well, I’m sure I would be depressed if I’m dating my ex-wife’s friend whilst my ex-wife is fighting for my apartment and kidnapped my dog.

So yes, I do love to eavesdrop. Do you? Or are you boring and stick to conventional rules and think that eavesdropping is rude and socially unacceptable? hehe….

shopping haul!

I found out about a neat local organic farmer’s market near where I live!! Finally! Living in whoop-whoop land has it’s payoffs! But that’s soon to change (maybe?) I’m being kicked out of my apartment and will need to move. Being super busy lately, I will probably have to move into my ever accommodating bf’s apartment. Thank you for taking me in. My friends laugh and say he should be saying thank you instead because he now has a free maid. Ahh, things always have two sides .. ANYWAYS, back to my blog topic. Shopping. Yes I went shopping, but for FOOD. aha, I’m sorry but shopping for food makes me happier than buying clothes. I told my friend the other day how I haven’t been shopping in ages and her response both shocked and offended me a little even though I guess she’s right. She simply said, I know, I can tell. OUCH.

Well, here’s my ORGANIC haul for the day! And I had this bottle of organic wine in my treasured cabinet and I whipped it out because it just seemed to go perfectly together.

Here’s what I got: 

- Eggplants

- Cherry tomatoes

- Onions

WINE~~ This is my first time trying organic wine. But it’s from Barossa valley, South Australia and I love South Aussie wine, so I figured it was a no-fail wine. And it is good. Mm…

And here is my pasta dish in the making. First, I sauteed some garlic in olive oil and then added the eggplants. I added a bit of wine so that the eggplants won’t taste so bland. Cover and simmer for about 5 minutes or until soft. Then I added the onions and cherry tomatoes. Season with basil, parsley, black pepper and some salt. Finally, toss the drained pasta back into the pan and drizzle a bit more olive oil. Then I added just a little bit more wine (as you can probably tell, I am a wine fanatic).

And here’s the final product. Top with a little more basil and cracked pepper. Delicious never seemed so easy!!

Enjoy! 

xo

jam.

meditation...or just enjoying life?

Meditation usually makes me think of a bald bronze-painted monk sitting cross-legged with a huge sword strapped to his back and a few leaves whirling in the wind. Anyways, it’s almost too un-real for me. But as I learn more about mindfulness and meditation, I realize that it isn’t so mystical and … well, boring.

There are people who do sit cross-legged and try not to think, i.e. empty their minds. But there are also many ways you can achieve that inner peace. If you can’t sit for so long (like me), then there’s walking meditation. You focus on walking and on the present moment and nothing else.

I like to think that there are many activities we do that helps us to achieve that inner peace. For example, I like to run. When I run, my mind blanks out and I just focus on my breathing. Well, I’m a terrible runner nonetheless but it makes me feel good. I am oddly one of those people who prefer a treadmill over outdoors - solely because I always get lost or run into bikers and all that. Treadmill is just hassle free and I know I won’t fall (treadmills usually won’t have holes that suddenly appear) so I can just run and not care about anything else. And I don’t have to stop for traffic lights. On a side note - how is it that some girls can run so beautifully and gracefully and…bouncily a la Bay Watch? And me, I run so awkward you’d think I was running with my arms instead. *sigh*

Cooking is another type of meditation for me. I love to cook and I love the whole process of going to the markets and deciding what I want and choosing the freshest ingredients. I love chopping up vegetables and the smell of garlic and olive oil. And I love having a glass of wine whilst I cook. It relaxes me.

There are about a million things one could do to clear one’s mind and focus on one’s well-being. What kind of things do you do to make yourself calmer and more peaceful?

The End of Poverty?

A truly astounding documentary. Please do take some time to watch it. It talks about how poverty begun and why it is so difficult to end. It really does make you re-think your whole attitude to government, fair trade, charity and life in general!

The thing that struck me most was the idea of “agrowth” as a parallel to “atheism”; where “agrowth” refers to the exiting of the religion of economic, removing the religion of growth. Rather, to de-grow and reduce waste, reduce over-utilization of natural resources, reduce work, and in turn, rediscover other aspects of life.

xx jam.

what I do in my free time.

This is what I have been doing since I’ve recovered from my illness —

It is not what I should be doing (i.e. assignments). The fact that these assignments are due in 10 days and the fact that I am nowhere near does not stop me from ignoring them. Hello? First day you’ve known me?

So this is what I’ve been doing instead:

1. Nike Training app — pretty awesome as I’m too lazy to go to the gym if nobody is willing to drive me there. Ha…which is pretty much nobody. All I have to do is roll out my yoga mat and I can exercise! There may be pretty girl videos but these workouts sure kick ass. (Well, they’re definitely kicking mine!)

2. Learning how to Dougie. Yes, this is what I do. Don’t judge me. If you have no idea what I’m talking about….you seriously need to get with the times! Y’all been living under a rock or what? Watch this…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/aZglqkCRNt8]

3. Figuring out why black people make everything seem cooler and way better. I saw a black guy wear skinny jeans and was not repulsed by it. Odd……….

4. As I was learning how to dougie, I discovered its near relative…the Cat Daddy. Oh yea…bring it on.

5. Making blueberry smoothies with my Magic Bullet. I love that super tiny blender!! Blend away…blend away!!

on a more serious note...

It is very painful to watch the news these days. The horrendous famine happening in the Horn of Africa. The terrible fighting and bombing in the middle East. The violence that is inflicted on civilians.

I do wish there was something I could do to help. Last night, I prayed for all the children who are starving. For all the people who died fighting for what they deeply believe in.

And today, I’ve decided to not eat meat for a month. This is to remind me of how fortunate I am. In doing so, I expect to save a bit of money (especially on groceries) and donate all my “meat-money” to help the famine in Africa.

Acts of charity are usually for the giver to feel better about themselves and their fortunate lives. And I agree. I give money, I donate and give up something. Then I can watch the news and hear about the dying and think, “Well, I did something to help.”

But is this an altruistic act or a selfish act?

just a number? think again...

Did you know that when presented with details of one individual’s suffering, we feel more empathy and sympathy than when given the details of a group of individuals’ suffering. Doesn’t sound rational? Think again. Think about all the most striking campaigns you have watched on TV.

Take anti-smoking campaigns for example. What do you remember most? That lady who was dying of lung cancer and had to breathe through a hole in her throat when her children are still under 10 years old and she had to explain to them why she was dying? Or the number of people who die from smoking-related diseases every year in the world?

Our brain works in such a weird and fascinating way. Humans are often criticized for not employing logics of reason. Yet, we also criticize artificial intelligence and machines that act on such logic and reasoning and mathematics. Fascinating, isn’t it?

Experiments have shown that when people are given information about one starving child in Africa and asked to donate money, the average amount is $11. Yet when given information about the statistics of dying children in Eastern Africa, the average amount that people are willing to donate drops down to $5.

(taken from this awesome blog — Adventures in Existence)

Question: can we ever be fully rational and ignore emotions? Maybe that’s the difference between AI and the human brain…

can't i just be peter pan?

One of my favourite fairy tales is Peter Pan (no, it is NOT snow white…wipe that smug look off your face, You-know-who-you-are).
Adulthood sucks. Every teenager wants to grow up quicker because they want “freedom”. Well, this so-called freedom is actually very limited. It should be renamed, “you-can-do-whatever-you-want-as-long-as-you-have-money-and-time”. Bleh!

The other day I was thinking how one year ago, I had just arrived in HK and stressing over finding a place to live and setting up a bank account (that was hard because I didn’t have proof of address….and I couldn’t rent because I didn’t have income proof….ahh, vicious cycles). And how time went by so quickly! And then I find out that my landlady wants the apartment back….I begged and she gave me a couple more months. But still!! I gotta PACK??!! Why does life keep shoving up the things I hate the most? Packing?? Damn…….the horrors of Korea comes flashing back. I left so much stuff in there I might as well just carried empty boxes away. It still remains a mystery how that could have happened.

Gah…. who wants to pack for me? Where’s my mother???!

is organic really better?

Lately I’ve been into all things organic. My hair was falling out and looking more like chewed up and regurgitated hay than real hair. I changed to an organic shampoo and not only does it smell nice, it looks shiny too. My skin was getting allergic reactions to all sorts of creams and I changed to an organic and natural face products and I *think* it works. I try to buy fresh foods (the organic produce are WAY too pricey). Heck, I even bought organic WINE!

I was always skeptical of such claims of the benefit of going organic. I always thought, dude, we eat chemicals, bathe in chemicals, walk around in and breathe in chemicals all day long. And we’re fine.

 But I see my grandparents and parents having illness and things like high blood pressure and diabetes and cholesterol - which, apparently *everybody* has. And I myself had a bit of health scare and the doctor said I’m not healthy enough. WHAT?! That came as a shock because health is something a lot of us take for granted. Well, I definitely did.

I decided that I am at high risk of developing all these things too. So I want to be healthy. I am making a conscious choice to live better and to eat better. And I’m not saying that organic is necessarily better, but it does make me feel better that I am eating and using more natural ingredients.

Although, sometimes I do think the whole organic ordeal is really a conspiracy. I mean, it seems that there are less regulations on organic produce than normal (cheaper) produce. But then again, all the produce I buy is probably from China. I’m screwed either way.

But I think, organic or not, the best way is to cook at home! I’ve been scouting around for really simple, delicious and nutritious recipes. Maybe next time I can share some of that with you guys.

I don’t want to work so hard only to have something keep me from enjoying my life when I’m 50!!

i'm back (yay!...not really)

I’m back from my mini-vacay and seriously, it’s hurting. Well yea, the aussie dollar was WAY too strong when I was over there and that did hurt. And the day I arrive back in HK, the news lady told me that the economy is crashing and the aussie dollar has gone down a bit. That hurt too. But what hurts most, is the fact that … I’m not in the Land of Oz anymore. No more sleep-ins till 1pm and then roll out of bed and walk across the street for some fabulous brunch. No more sitting at outdoor cafes sipping lattes and watching beautiful people in amazing outfits walk by (I swear the milk tastes better over there, and I swear the same clothes look better over there. It’s like miracle land). No more rolling around in my tiny town house but thinking it is magnificently HUGE. No more getting dressed up and wearing heels and NOT HAVING TO WALK because I can drive. No more eating dinners for 3 hours and still not getting kicked out. No more desserts and wonderful coffee. Oh have I mentioned the coffee?? Now all I have left is Starbucks. Ew. They should not be allowed to use the name “coffee” for whatever it is that they’re serving. EWW.

Wow. What an angry and depressing post. Don’t worry. I’ve been feeling a little ill since I been back which makes this whole post-holiday blues even worse.

PS. Can someone just “develop” airsickness? I never used to get air sick but these recent flights have got me throwing up every 10 minutes. Good thing my seat was by the aisle and close to the toilets. Bleh.

k. bye.

bye bye hk ❤

I have a plane to catch in about 3 hours. I’m packed and ready (I think). But my house is in a state of horrendous mess. Somehow things seem to have piled everywhere after I’m all packed. How is that even possible?

Now I’m sitting on the floor staring hopelessly at all my mess. This was probably what that dog felt in the “learned helplessness” experiment where he kept being electrocuted no matter what he did. Eventually the poor dog just gave up and lay there whimpering after each electric shock. I’m getting close!!

I want to paint my nails. And take a nap. And then, maybe my house will clean itself miraculously.

the boy who cried wolf...

I was listening on the radio today a very heated debate - the bullet train accident in China. If you haven’t heard this news, google it. Anyways, “officials” report that the train was “struck by lightning” and “stalled” and thus, rear ended by another train. Why so “many” quotation marks? Because these so-called “reports” are made from China - that in itself raises serious doubts. Apparently, the railway department has set up an investigation team to investigate…themselves. Another highly doubt-able issue. Even if an “independent” committee were set up to investigate, it would still raise my eyebrows. I am one skeptic Chinese. The craziest thing from this incident was the fact that the crashed train was buried. Yep, buried by officials. WHY? I don’t know. Maybe that’s just how China rolls. And it has been reported that there are 32 dead. 32. Yea, like how General Li made the public announcement about the Tiananmen incident that “No one died.”

And then I just thought, what if, just what if this train incident really was a storm disaster and 32 died and they really found no suspicious cause and so buried the train? What if there really is no shady business going on? How would Mr. Wu think? “For ONCE we tell the truth and damn you all just make up so many conspiracy theories about us. Damn you, world. I will never again speak of the truth!!” Ahh… it’d kinda be like the boy who cried wolf. Except it’d be China who cried Lightning…

door watching..

The good thing about online shopping is that you can do it anywhere, anytime. The bad thing is, you have to wait. I love instant gratification, I want things NOW!!!

Another downside of online shopping is drunk-dialling’s cousin. Yep, drunk-shopping. One time, I had a few friends over my apartment (we were all girls…I wonder if there were boys, would this still have happened? hmm…) Well, we had dinner together and a few drinks. Then we decided it was a perfectly good idea to go onto gmarket.com (this extremely cheap website in Korea) and bought shoes, clothes, and… stuff. I remember it took us a LONG time to finally sort out the payment and it arrived *at my school* the next day. How embarrassing. I didn’t even remember buying anything…

Well, that hasn’t stopped me from buying things online since.

But I do think they should put up a *complicated maths equation* to prevent drunkies buying anything… but not so difficult that I can’t even solve it when sober…just a thought.

Anyways, I am now anxiously awaiting the postmaster to come along…..

I’m going to go back to staring at my door mentally making time go by faster. You mean that doesn’t work? WHAT?

Oh-oh-only you~~

Earlier tonight, in the midst of being extremely captivated by my interesting homework and definitely NOT watching youtube, I looked at the clock and realized it was already 8 pm. Damn..I have no food at home and I didn’t want to eat take out tonight. So I painfully pulled myself away from my homework. (You do realize that I am being sarcastic, right?) Anyways, I headed out to the supermarket nearby and on my way I passed by a busker. What was extraordinary about this particular busker was not the actual busker himself. But the fact that the whole street was strangely empty. (Where I live, it is definitely weird for the street to be empty). And it was drizzling slightly, kind of a Korean drama scene. Oh and did I mention that he was singing, Only You? It was an extremely strange, weird and oddly romantic moment. Maybe I was too hungry and my brain got messed up.

ps. When I was walking by the singer, I almost burst out laughing because I suddenly thought of this scene from an old Chinese movie.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/v/Wmtv8yObD_w]