We are often running around, anxious about getting to our next appointment on time, worried about whether our life compares to others, fretting about putting make up on in the morning so as to look presentable, but conscious not to go overboard because no one wants to be the office slut, conflicted daily about food and weight, guilt trips down to the gym, crazy calls from the boss late at night, and still having to smile and be composed, because dear god no one calls us “crazy” or … “women”. Because it is said in such a derogatory manner, “women”, instantly justifying any bigotry slur that follows, instantly becoming the punch line of some joke, instantly bringing about empathetic nods from others that puts us back over in the crazy box once again.

So lately, I’ve been practicing a moment meditation - a mindful minute. Just bringing all my focus on my breathing and just noticing my thoughts. And letting them go. Because I’m tired of trying to defend myself, tired of trying to be everything for everyone. Because it’s time I took better care of myself.

Jill Mansell, Millie’s Fling

But money or no money, we’re all searching for the same things aren’t we? It doesn’t matter who you are or how much money you have. Love and happiness that’s what it’s all about.

This part really cracked me up. #catcherintherye #salinger #teenageangst #reading #kindle

F. Scott Fitzgerald

The loneliest moment in someones life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.

A post about depression

There are many stories about depression. The dark times, the empty void, the downward spiral. Yet, many triumphant survivors tell of their success. How they beat depression. How they overcame depression. How they came back out stronger, better, happier and healthier. But what about those who are still on the battlefield? If only someone could put a timeframe from start to finish. Then you could measure your success according to how long it should last. “Is there something wrong with me?” That’s a question I keep hearing. “Why am I still not better?”

This post today is not about successfully beating depression. No, it is more about how do you live with depression. In what way does depression morph into your self identity? I’ve had someone tell me that his depression is like his best friend, in a twisted kind of way. He said, “Everything comes and goes and at the end of the day, you’re gonna face it yourself. But for me, at least I know that depression is always with me. It’s actually almost comforting, in a sickening sort of way.” It doesn’t matter how you see depression, but know that nobody can tell you how to feel. Your feelings are legitimate, they are real. Just because you have depression, does not mean there is something wrong, something to be “fixed”. 

Because, what is it like to be “cured”? Does anybody even know?