Looking forward to a Black Eye!

Finally, the horrendous week 13 is over. It’s an unlucky number already. Week 13 is the last week of the term and of course students are entitled to go slightly crazier than they usually are. All I heard was “Teacher~ pizza party!” “Teacher, we want Cola!” “Teacher!! More snacks!” …i shall not delve further into that subject matter~ for I’m just glad its all over….

Now its week one all over again, and it’s something new, with different text books and different students. I guess kids all put on their best behaviour when they’re not familiar with the teacher - so this is where I have to start off strong. I’m not going to be lenient on them or too nice, because kids will be kids and will definitely take advantage. Afterall, I’ve been there myself ^_-

It has been a hectic time and I have gotten lazy about posting…also because I feel like I havne’t done anything worth posting about!! Although, I must say, I’m getting pretty damn flexible from yoga and pretty damn proud of myself ..and a co-worker gave me her Gymball which she didn’t use, and I’ve been very disciplined and working out almost daily! I figured…since it’s summer back home, and everyone’s slimming down and hitting the beach…and I’ve been feeling cold and homesick =( SO…I shall also work for my bikini body (which will be covered under layers and layers of clothing„,but still!!) Just so i can feel slight summery here~ hahaha, silly, but i think it works for me. So, wish me luck guys! It’s weird how this is the MOST active i’ve probably ever been in my whole life….and I actually feel guilty just thinking of skipping yoga/work out …wow! back then, i’d persuade mei to skip gym and eat with me…hahahah!!! so i guess that’s a step forward, right?

For the past few days I have had no laptop/internet. Something happened, something terrible happened and I didn’t know what to do. Frantically, I called my understanding and loving boyfriend, and in a near-hysteric state, told him how my laptop died on me. In a very very calm voice stripped of any emotion whatsoever, he said “get it fixed” Three simple words, that’s it. No….but he didn’t get it! I don’t know how to fix it and that’s why I called him. ARghhh…..guys just never get it…. Or maybe we just live in totally different realms..and so I brought it in to work today and I felt just like how the owner of a sick puppy felt…and I asked my co-worker for help. He told me a whole bunch of words which didn’t really make much sense to me and maybe seeing my blank clueless face, he took my baby from my hands and pushed some buttons and typed some things. I peered over his shoulder with a worried yet hopeful look. And just like that….it worked again. 3 minutes of pushing this and typing that. And it worked again. And I was stressed out and worried for days!!! I was AMAZED…..wow. So, who ever said women don’t need men? Well, at least, I do. hahahaha And just like my boyfriend, in times of crises, women (or more specifically, me) need someone who is calm and collected and able to give directions. =D

Another thing that’s exciting~~ Vali’s coming to visit me tomorrow!!!!! I cannot wait! Also because she told me that she accidently got knocked over by some guy and so has a black eye…haha~ I shouldn’t think this, but it has made me want to see her even more !

beautiful white on black..

My message tone rings. I stop wrting the term reports and look up from my laptop to see that its already 2:30am. Who would message me at this time of night? I hope its not spam…Fumbling around in my bag, I find my phone and flip it open. Yo, Look outside. It was a very brief message from Tommy….what could it be? maybe there’s an accident??? But then, Tommy doesn’t live near my apartment…I wonder what it is…With one eyebrow raised and a question in mind, I get up and walk to my window and peer out. Didn’t really see anything and then…Oh gosh! maybe it’s snowing!!!! I frantically push back the blinds and swing my window open and held my breath in anticipation.

A blast of cold air hits me in the face. Wow…it’s freezing out here… And there it was. The tiny white flecks. Jumping left and right as if dodgeing some imaginary obstacles, on a race to the ground. It’s so beautiful…I stand there gazing out towards the sky, mesmerized by the serenity of the moment.

No wonder Summer told me that Autumn and Winter are the seasons of love….As I stand there with the window wide open, I momentarily forgot the cold. I forgot about the silly term reports that we have to write and send home to parents who couldn’t read English anyway. I forgot how far away from home I was. I forgot the distance between me and him. I forgot about everything….

And then I smiled.

For the past few days I have been feeling slight homesick and somewhat down. But looking at the white snow glittering against the black night, I felt okay again. I was fascinated, in awe of God’s work. How can all of this come from some coincidental clash or the so-called Big Bang Theory? Even the name annoys me..how can it be a theory if there was no observed phenomenon to explain in the first place? It’s more a proposal, or a hypothesis. Actually, not even, because it can’t be proven, so it’s not really a hypothesis either…..anyways, my thoughts are drifting. I think it’s time to sleep.

I close the window. But I couldn’t bear to walk away from such beauty and so I pushed open the window again.

One more look…


"God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ …So that all men he has made may know his work, he stops every man from his labor and fills them with awe." - Job 37:5-7

[李聖傑 - 靠近] 我就是那麼的想靠近你...

走在人擠人的走道　我問了自己

沒有愛情的人是否會長命
那些電影常常讓人感覺甜蜜
但是我　不相信


坐在沒有人的角落　我又問自己
究竟應該繼續還是該放棄
沒有人能了解我現在的心情
想看你　想躲你　難以決定


每當我想靠近　你總會裝冷靜
眼看你的表情　彷彿己經說明
我只想要證明　我們這段愛情
也許在你眼裡　它只是個遊戲


我只想要靠近　也很想要抱緊
回想到那過去　和現在新的你
我還想要參與　你的生活點滴
只要你肯相信　我一定會陪你走下去


坐在沒有人的角落　我又問自己
究竟應該繼續還是該放棄
沒有人能了解我現在的心情
想看你　想躲你　難以決定


每當我想靠近　你總會裝冷靜
眼看你的表情　彷彿己經說明
我只想要證明　我們這段愛情
也許在你眼裡　它只是個遊戲


我只想要靠近　也很想要抱緊
回想到那過去　和現在新的你
我還想要參與　你的生活點滴
只要你肯相信　我一定會陪你走下去


能不能夠讓我再說我愛你
還是你己不想聽　
能不能夠把你徹底的忘記
我是真的搞不清


每當我想靠近　你總會裝冷靜
眼看你的表情　彷彿己經說明
我只想要證明　我們這段愛情
也許在你眼裡　它只是個遊戲


我只想要靠近　也很想要抱緊
回想到那過去　和現在新的你
我還想要參與　你的生活點滴
只要你肯相信　我一定會陪你走下去

只要你再相信　我們會緊緊地　靠在一起

Koreans are crazy romantic people..

It didn’t take me long to realize this… but Koreans are ridiculously overly-expressive of love and romance. Sometimes it really does make me wince…and other times, I was nearly sucked in ..

Everywhere I go, I see couples wearing matching clothes. And by matching, I don’t just mean a couple’s tee….but more like the exact same shoes + jeans + shirt + hat. They end up looking like those baby twins (except they’re older and hold hands). And because guys here are scarily skinny and have curly hair, it’s quite a task figuring out who’s the guy.

I thought I had seen all that I could handle. The lovey-dovey kissing and hugging couple who is somehow always right in front of you on the subway. The guy standing on the street with a bunch of flowers behind his back and he embarrasingly stands, with his head hung low in an attempt to hide his face. The love motel signs flashing overhead in every direction you look. The kissing bears that couples hang on their phones and sings “I love you..muah muah” when you press the belly. The couple glasses. The couple tees. The couple shoes. The couple phones. The couple mugs. The couple everything……….

But wait. There’s more. As if one Valentine’s day wasn’t enough…Korean’s also celebrate pepero day. Which is Pocky. So it would be Pocky Day. Because Nov 11th lookes like ||||….pepero sticks. Lame? Well….you haven’t seen it lame yet. Walking into any store gave me a fright. I had no idea what was going on. Christmas? Valentines? Why so many wrapped up gifts and ribbons and chocolate moulds and hearts and pink and hearts and more pink and more hearts?

Then I was told by Thuy…it’s Pepero day! Girls make or buy pepero for their boyfriends…to express their love. Oh… I looked around and the store was swarmed with girls trying to decide whether to buy the pink set or the baby pink set? At that moment, I felt like the most unromantic girl ever. And I was glad I wasn’t Korean. I would definitely never get a boyfriend because the idea of making a pocky stick for a guy doesn’t excite me. Nor does the idea of hanging a monkey on my phone, which, did I mention, is bigger than my phone and says I love you … Sorry, but those things don’t give me a fuzzy feeling in the stomach. Maybe a quesy sickness. And my automatic response of raising one eyebrow whenever I go speechless………just like now. Which is why I’m running out of words…I have no idea how to explain it. You just have to come here yourself. It’s like Korean lovey dovey drama….except its real over here. Oh dear.

In Korea, it’s like everyone forever 15…Yay~ let’s spend hours on end making chocolate on sticks and wrapping up them up in expensive wrapping only to be eaten. Let’s wear matching everything….just in case other’s don’t know we’re dating….maybe the kissing and hugging and touching isn’t obvious enough…let’s hang out 24/7 because really, who needs friends? Yay….

Need I say more? Koreans are crazy romantic people…..

just another crazy tuesday

The alarm goes off at 10am…I send Audrey and Julie a very brief text “Yoga?” and then press the snooze button. At 10:15am, my phone sings “You’ve got mail” and I see Audrey replied “Yes.” Using up whatever willpower I could muster, I roll out of my bed and crawl down the steep stairs with sleepy eyes. The way I do it is, only open one eye at a time so I can rest my eyes alternately. Sounds crazy but it works. Anyways, I look at the clock, and then in the mirror. I guess there’s really nothing I can do to fix my appearance with only 10 minutes left so I brush my teeth, pull on my new 3000Won yoga pants and put my hair in a messy bun. Shit, its 10:30 already and I run out to the elevators. Brr….the morning air is cold and damp.

Around the corner I meet my also sleepy-just-rolled-out-of-bed yoga partner. The cold air feels somewhat refreshing and we walk to class, complaining of how tired and hungry we were. After a couple traffic lights, we arrive. Being too lazy to walk up 4 flights of stairs, we wait for the elevator. After all, we are going to do some exercise…..

Each lesson fills me with a mixture of anticipation, and also dread. I look forward to it, enjoy it, but also dread it. Why? Because the yoga instructor has made it explicitly clear that we are “waeguk” ..which means Foreigners. She calls us AU-De-Li and Jay-E-Mi and sometimes the more generic term “Engrish teacher”…at which point, every other person has turned around to look at us. And sometimes, she’ll say something which we won’t understand, but then everyone else laughs and looks at us. From her tone, she seems friendly. But sometimes it’s hard to tell….she could’ve said “stupid idiots, so not flexible at all” with a warm smile and a non-threatening laugh and I’ll laugh along just to be polite (and also to hide my embarrassment).

And of course, we have no idea what to do. I mean, if we’re sitting or standing, it’s not hard to copy the movements of the people around. However, if we’re lying on the mat staring at the ceiling…its a different story altogether. I think the most workout I get is my neck. I am constantly straining my neck to see what’s going on. And there’s no point in looking next to me, because Audrey is usually doing to same thing as me : straining her neck with a confused look on her face.

One thing however, that makes me really enjoy this class is not the fact that we get laughed at, or that the instructor comes over to pull our legs and tug our hands (like real-life playdo), or the fact that my neck might be getting stronger. Rather, it’s just the element of surprise within the class. We never really know what we’ll be doing each class. Sometimes, she makes us stick our tongues out and make funny noises. Sometimes, she makes us do sit ups and squats. Sometimes, it feels more like soccer training with lots of jumping.

But one thing’s for sure, this is definitely one hell of a yoga experience………..

Yes, I am still watching Sex and the City

On a quiet Sunday evening, I cooked myself a meal. This is the first time in a long while that I’ve cooked and I’m glad to say that I’ve still got it in me. After hearing a friend rave on about how good and cheap this wine was, I couldn’t resist the temptation and bought myself a bottle. Cheap it was and wonderful, even more so. Unwinding on my couch, sipping on red wine and enjoying my chicken and basil pasta, I decided to pick up on my SATC addiction. Okay, so now I’m up to Season 4…..should be over soon so you guys won’t have to put up with this for much longer.

I’m up to the part where Carrie decides to get back with her ex (after they broke up because she cheated on him with Big). Quick recap: Aiden agreed to giving it a second chance but then he starts treating Carrie like shit. I guess it was an attempt to get even. Carrie allows it because she feels bad about everything and is punishing herself.

It gets me thinking, Forgive and forget. Is that really possible?
To me, forgiving means no finger-pointing, no blaming, no resentment. It means to let go of what happened. But does forgiving include forgetting too? Forgiving is difficult, but to forget is even harder. To me, forgetting is a commitment, a promise to let go of the anger, hurt and pain and to never make negative references to the deed again. With Carrie and Aiden’s case, I’m not sure what happened to them (because I haven’t watched it yet!), but there are couples that can move past cheating and grow stronger together. But how many people can truly forgive and then forget?

To forgive takes a lot of effort and strong will - because blaming someone else is so much easier. To forget takes even more because it is a conscious decision to open up again and allow ourselves to be vulnerable and to accept the fact that we could be hurt again. But the important question is, what good would that do to yourself and the other person to stand behind the hurdle and point fingers at each other rather than working out how to jump over? It would only result in the two of you being stuck in a constant state of anger and pain and hurt. But of course, it isn’t a matter of one. It involves two people dedicated to put in effort and it certainly takes a long and sometimes difficult road.I don’t know why I am writing about these things, but I guess I just have a lot of opinions. Sometimes, I think it would be great if life was like a TV show. All we need to do is fast-forward a couple episodes or even a whole season and we could find out what happens. But, hey, life is about trial and error. We wouldn’t know if we didn’t try…right? So I think maybe it’s time for me to stop worrying and analyzing and to give up my inferior attempts at predictions…..and just forgive and forget. Which means to allow another person to be human in faults, mistakes and wrongdoings and hand out the bandage that holds the wound together long enough to heal.

Because what happens will happen. Like the boring old saying..Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future and today’s a gift. That’s why its called the present….

And the bible says, don’t worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will have it’s own worries.

I guess I should go to bed. It’s getting late and I think that’s enough babbling for tonight…won’t you agree?