the not-so-glamourous side of my sad sad life

1. The boss Mr.S informed me that a “situation” has occured. And I will have to have my holiday the week of June 1st. “Well…do you consent?”, he asks. Oh…was that a rhetorical question? Or a trick question? WELL…..you have confused me…

2. Yay I got paid. What did I do? I went to Homeplus….(which is a supermarket).

3. I went to the gym and the trainer made me do a body assessment where he tells me, “You, Diet. 2 kilos. Rice, no.” 0_0 I’m FAT? By normal standards…or by Korean standards?

4. In one week, my classes have been “too boring” AND “too noisy” AND that I “play too much games”. Contradiction much?

5. On the first day of my “Diet” (which I am VERY unwilling to undertake), Nicole bakes Banana Bread.

6. On the second day of my already failed “Diet”, Nicole bakes Olive oil and Rosemary cake. Which is SO DAMN DELICIOUS. Drop two kilos? Scrap that…..it was worth it even if I gained. SO DAMN DELICIOUS.

7. Friday night, I went grocery shopping AND saw countless couples. Rub it in my face why don’t you. If I go on a date in Korea, it’ll be to Homeplus. DAMN RIGHT.

8. I realize I might have committment-phobia. I’m like a bird without feet…..-__- just the thought of staying somewhere permanent scares me. The word BABY makes me almost want to collapse and die. And marriage? Imagine waking up to the same person for the REST OF YOUR LIFE *hyperventilates*

9. For the first time I felt old. The students from one of my class are all born in the year of the Tiger. Like me. But a whole TWELVE YEARS later……….

10. It’s been 5 months and it’s still cold. FML.

YOU MIGHT BE IN KOREA IF...

1.   you take off your shoes to enter a restaurant
2.   you say no with your hands crossed in a big X
3.   your pantry has at least 5 things by the brand LOTTE
4.   locals think Samsung is GOD
5.   your meal is served with 15 plates of food
6.   kimchi is served with everything you order
7.   pickles is served with in a “Western” restaurant
8.   you have to stake out your territory on the subway
9.   your washing machine is located in your kitchen
10. there seems to be bulgogi-flavoured everything
11. there seems to be corn on everything
12. you have floor heating
13. there is a massive drain in your bathroom floor
14. you have to wear special slippers to go into bathrooms
15. you have to be naked to even walk into the shower rooms of gyms, etc.
16. naked ladies scrub each other down
17. people stare at you only if you try to cover up your body with a towel
18. your toilets are slowly breaking down
19. toilet paper is not allowed to be flushed and should be thrown in a trash can next to the toilet (EWWW!)
20. there are toilet signs that say “NO SHITTING ALLOWED”
21. men’s dress shoes have 2 inch platform heels
22. random old Korean men try to beat you up on subways
23. men have skinnier legs than women 
24. there is a hooker van around the corner
25. you come home everyday with at least 10 prostitute “business cards” stuck on your door
26. there are hookers in noraebangs
27. there are hookers everywhere!
28. shops have nonsensical English names, like GAG STORY.
29. there are drunk men stumbling around the streets at 7pm on a Tuesday
30. bars are empty by 10pm (because everyone is stumbling on the streets drunk)
31. you say -UH after every English word and you instantly speak Korean. (I SPEAK KOREAN~ YESS-UH!!)
32. Hello Kitty is everywhere
33. men have shinier pants than knights in shining amour
34. Italian food is always served in a doll-like house with fake flowers on all the walls
35. you can guess what a person’s name is. Park? Lee? Must be Kim then!
36. 8 year old girls and boys get their hair permed in a salon
37. nobody’s gay but everyone looks gay
38. you don’t talk to each other on a date (but rather, send a text or watch tv on your mobile or just eat in silence)
39. girls who work in bars are paid to lick their lips and flirt with men
40. you are excited to do something but get tired before you get there because everywhere’s far and the subway sucks
41. you see 7 year olds with a fancier phone than yourself
42. you see more prams and babies in an art gallery than paintings
43. there are mirrors everywhere…even by the trash cans
44. there is always a guy fixing his hair in front of the mirror
45. there is always a girl putting powder on her face in front of the mirror
46. it is more comfortable to sleep on the floor than on the bed
47. LASTLY, you might be in Korea if you are told Kimchi is the best thing and it can even cure cancer!!!!!!!