Naming a BABY

Naming a baby can seriously be HELL (as if having a baby wasn’t bad enough, you gotta name it too). I had the weirdest dream last night….I was sitting in a car and suddenly someone come’s up and says ‘hi’. I don’t know that person in real life but in my dream, she was a friend. Weird…. anyways, it gets weirder. Somehow, I was really excited and somehow I had a baby. Somehow, I really wanted to show my baby to my friend. So I said, “Do you want to see it?” And that’s when my friend’s face scrunches up in disgust and looks at me in shock. “IT? How can you refer to your baby as it??” And somehow a whole gang of people appeared and threatened to beat me up. And that’s when I woke up. SCREW DREAMS.

But then that led me to think about baby names. Usually there’s always “The big book of baby names” or “Unique names for your baby”, but seriously, how unique can a name be when it’s printed in the millions and for sale in every book store? Usually the first name is always Abigail. Nothing too unique there……

So screw baby books too. Today I’m kind of in a SCREW YOU ALL mood. Must be all this assignments and being cooped up in jail, oh I meant home…and the only time I go out is to teach someone what “What’s up?” means and maybe to buy toilet paper. Anyways, I was thinking……..if you want a UNIQUE name, and I mean unique, not nice, then you should come to Hong Kong. People here have unique names, but if I were to choose, I’d rather keep my plain old Jamie than be named Queenie or Beauty or Ice or Fanny or Vagina.

I found out that a movie director in HK is named FRUIT CHAN. WTF?! I’m NOT lying….. 
And there’s always in the back of my mind, that lovely girl who named herself Money. I will never forget you. And then there’s the crazy ones like Bebe, Lion, Kermit, Apple, Iceman….

My favourite so far? There was this ad on a bus for a gym and the personal trainer was called…. “CALORIE NG” I stood in the street and laughed for a good minute until I realized I probably looked crazier than a person who would call herself Calorie.

So yea, who needs “The Big book of Baby names” when I’ve got inspiration all around me! Having a name like Jane or John is wayyy too normal for Hong Kong and the kids probably get made fun of for having a “boring” name. Maybe in Hong Kong, it’s cool to call yourself Fanny or Tiffany or Gucci or ICEMAN. It’s even cooler when they’re not kids anymore and these names get printed onto business name cards. Too bad mine will just be Jamie. Maybe I should “change" my name to something crazy like DURIAN.