Realization

Realizaiton - coming to understand something which you did not before.
Awoken from my sleep, I tug my eye mask off and groan as I squinted at the time. It’s 3am..what is that sound?Trying to focus on what was coming from the floor below, I thought I heard munching noises. Confused, I sit up and peer down into the living room to the couch where she was sleeping. Except, she wasn’t sleeping. With the dim lights flickering from the muted TV, I could see her sitting cross-legged on the couch. Eating. Actually, no. The word eating was an inadequate description of what she was doing. It was beyond anything I had ever seen. It filled me with disgust and horror. One, two, three, four, five. Five family blocks of chocolate lay in her lap and around her. I watched her literally drink it down at an alarming speed. Not wanting to make a scene, I quickly laid back down on my bed and willed myself to sleep. However, my mind kept flashing back to her. It was just like those animes where the evil character finally gets ahold of something he always wanted and his eyes gleamed with evil delight. That was what she looked like. Out of control, almost possessed. It was a horrible, horrible image. But I could not erase it from my mind.

The next morning, I woke up and everything seemed fine. I went downstairs and she was already up, watching TV. We exchanged our good mornings and I subtly avoided the topic of food or eating. She was watching Plastic Beauty, a show about the pros of plastic surgery and how attractiveness makes you more appealing, seem more intelligent and just have a better life. Seeing it as a good chance to discuss some problems with her, I asked her what she thought of that show. I told her how its dangerous to be so obssessed over looks and weight, and that guys don’t even like skinny girls. She disagreed, saying that it’s difficult because media portrays it as you have to be beautiful and skinny. And guys like skinny girls with big boobs. And then she gets up to take a shower.

As she was in the shower, I played a little detective on my behalf. I felt bad for prying into her privacy. But I felt even worse when I found her stash of chocolate. All empty boxes. About a dozen or so. Feeling scared, I shove it back into her backpack. Why did she have to hide all the empty boxes?

Thoughts race through my mind. I never see her eat. She’s constantly in the bathroom. She’s been here for a week, and we’ve used four rolls of toilet paper already. I saw laxatives in the bathroom and she told me because she’s bloated and feels constipated. All she eats are crackers. Oh gosh. There’s one thought which I’m trying hard to ignore. Maybe she’s got an eating disorder. I hate the way the words form in my head, I hate the way they look. I can’t bear to think of my friend like that. Trying hard to push it from my mind, I knew there was something wrong. I’ve read enough books and studied 4 years about psychological illnesses to know that there was something really wrong with my friend. Now, the question is, what do I do?