3 reasons cougers are cougers and why I am not a couger

I guess it’s not really a new trend or anything, but it has come to my attention that there are a lot of cougers out there! If you don’t know what a couger is, I’m sorry, but I can’t help you. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? Older women dating younger boys. I recently found out a couple of girls I know are dating younger men too! So that got me thinking (yea, lots of things get me thinking).. what are some of the reasons why some women diverge away from the conventional older men and go for the younger boys? Here’s my list:

1. Younger boys are more romantic and cuter. Usually, it’s guys in their first few relationships that would make a heart shape out of candles and play you a song on their guitar on the beach. I guess some girls like that no matter how old they become. I personally don’t appreciate those corny, romantic gestures - and that’s probably why most sensitive guys really get crushed by me *unintentionally, really, I’m sorry*

2. Younger boys are more innocent and therefore easier to manipulate. I’m not saying cougers are manipulative bitches, but maybe they prefer to hold the reins and call the shots. They probably can wear the pants easier when the guy is younger. For me, (yes, maybe it’s sadistic) but I prefer the guy to call the shots. I want someone who is more practical and organized and steadier than me. I sometimes am like a crazy cockcroach running around in all directions until somebody slaps their shoe on me and squishes me to death. And that’s when I stop. Yea, like I said, sadistic but true.

3. Younger boys are more spontaneous and physically fitter. Of course, there are lots of men who are healthy and fit and love spontaneity but sometimes, guys can get jaded or too comfortable. Girls probably get that feeling of puppy love more from younger boys. This is one thing I agree with. Maybe because I just have this incredible endless source of energy. I never have to sleep and I never get tired. Or rather, no matter how tired I am, I will always jump at the chance to be doing something fun. But like I said above, I need somebody to hold me and shake me and scream “look at me” like the way I do to my ADHD students in a bid to calm them down.

As from my title of this post, I have many more reasons why I would not date a guy my junior. I know, I know, I often say I hate conventionalism and have an inner desire to break all sorts of rules…BUT… here are a random select out of my 1,438,620,274,629 reasons:

1. I have a younger brother and I have spent a large part of my life looking after him. I don’t want to do that again.

28. I find guys my age to be immature already. I think I might go crazy with a boy who’s so young.

99. If I were dating someone who was less mature, less sensible and more gullible than I am…..oh dear, God knows what sorts of trouble we’d be getting into. You see, I often have these crazy ideas in my head which I am too embarrassed to voice. However, when I am dating someone, I feel comfortable enough to share them. Usually, they just end in a wide-eyed, “are you crazy?” sort of stare or a “hahaha you’re so funny” kind of reaction. But, if someone were stupid like me to do those things……. I can’t even continue the sentence.

306. I admire guys who have done a lot in life, say travel, life experience and those sorts. Dreams don’t appeal as much to me these days as actually having done things. And not to be biased, but really, how much stuff can you fit into your 20 years of life?

1200. I prefer guys who are independent. And this includes being financially independent (doesn’t mean rich, but that he doesn’t get pocket money from his mum), physically independent (that is, he does his own laundry and lives preferably a mile away from his parents). I just don’t think many young guys are independent, as much as they claim they are.

520485. I really, really, REALLY do NOT want to be with someone who looks physically younger than me. I just cannot handle that. I am 23, and I think I look 23. But if somebody ever asks, “Hey, you the older sis?” I think I might just die. *I actually secretly take pride in my brother’s friends thinking I look younger than my bro SHhhh Vanity, yes*

6037563. I can’t stand colourful boys. Guys sometimes go through that phase in life where they like colourful sneakers, spend 20 minutes fixing their hair, spend another 10 minutes admiring their biceps, walk around with a smirk on their face like “yo, ain’t I cool.” Sorry, honey, but you might be decent 10 years later.

I have more reasons but then I don’t want to be a young-boy-hater (yea, even though I have 1,438,620,274,629 reasons) Okay, one more.

730562826. I teach English and sometimes my students are 17 year olds. 17, 19, 20. Same thing. It literally disgusts me to date somebody who is around my students’ ages…..oh dear goodness.

Okay. So all you cougers out there, or would-be cougers, I’m not against you dating younger boys. I just am against myself dating younger boys. But I will say that Jacob from Twilight is pretty hot. But seriously, 18? Nuh-uh……