when i grow up i want to be...

How can one be so satisfied with such pathetic ways? When one is young, isn’t that the time to take risks and stop all the questioning and worrying and just go for it? Yet why are we all so afraid to step into the unknown? Instead of blindly leaping into the darkness with unquavering faith, we keep wading in our puddle of comfort, waiting for disaster to take its course. What if something better is out there? What if there isn’t? What if this is as good as it gets? Then what happens to our dreams, ambitions and happiness which seemed so easily attainable when we were young? The older we get, it seems, the more they slip away. What happened to “When I grow up, I want to be…”? Why do we throw away everything we ever wanted, only to settle for something which may not even be right?

Today, at the library, I skimmed through “Who Moved My Cheese?”. I’m sure alot of you have probably read it and I think I have before in the past but forgotten about it. However, flipping through the pages, it made me think about some things. About my future… I was always unsure, uncertain..fidgety and always changing my mind. I always thought it was because I didn’t want to take the wrong path or that I am not ready to settle down. But I think it was a fear to move forward. If I never try too hard, then I’d never really fail…right? Not just with my career or studies, but also with relationships and every other aspect of my life. I stick with what is happening because I am afraid this might be it, this might be the best it’s ever gonna get. Like they say, you lost an orange, but at least you still have a mandarin?

So I had what you might call an epiphany. I don’t want to be the 50 year old crazy cat lady who’s bitter about everything in her life and wakes up to face regret everyday. I want to be the one who can tell their lifestory to a younger person and inspire them to go after their dreams. Yes…as cheesy as that sounds, that’s who I want to be.