I think it’s a funny thing, the way we learn. Event A happens once (unexpectedly) and it creates an impression in our memory. If an event similar to A happens again, we form a link between the event and the outcome. Any other event that occurs in the subsequent future which is somewhat similar to Event A will elicit those feelings and behaviors and emotions in us.
It’s wonderful because it saves us a lot of trouble and probably saves our sorry asses too. Eg. Don’t touch the burner!! On the other hand though, it may cause us to overreact. The latter seems to have happened to me today. And now I feel a little judgmental and mean and…well…basically I’m a bitch.
So here’s what happened: Around last year March, EVENT A happened to me. It was unexpected and a little shocking. I felt devastated almost. Then around August last year, a similar thing happened again. Let’s call that EVENT B. So I learnt to connect the dots and I drew the line.
[WOAH…even I find it confusing reading what I’ve just typed. Well, I don’t want to reveal too much because my blog isn’t a personal pour-out-the-contents-of-my-heart-and-soul blog….anyways, bear with me!!]
So today, EVENT C occurred and immediately, I thought to myself, this is exactly what happened in A and B. Damn it! So before I let the consequences happen and let myself get sucked in and upset again, I acted out.
I retaliated. I put up a front.
Only to realize that it was not the way I had thought it was. I made a mistake. EVENT C was not the same as A and B.
And now, rather than being the strong survivor or the Oh-poor-you-victim….I am now De-Bitch.
So learning. Is it good or bad? Can I just say, I was quick to learn? Or am I really a judgmental bitch? And should I shut up now and go make my man a sandwich instead?
No comments:
Post a Comment